You Should Date A Girl Who’s A Basic Bitch

Thought Catalog

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Date a girl who’s a basic bitch. Find her in line at Starbucks and tell her you, too, wish it was pumpkin spice season. Tell her they should make a reality show out of her and her friends–they’re so zany. Weird things are LITERALLY ALWAYS happening to them. Tell her she looks like Kate Middleton. Whisk her away to the afternoon showing of a new Reese Witherspoon movie where you’ll brush hands reaching for popcorn (no butter).

A girl who’s a basic bitch knows how to find pleasure in the little things: a perfectly Instagramed latte, the crisp feel of a freshly laundered yoga pant hugging her ass, an inspirational Marilyn Monroe quote displayed on her Twitter feed. A basic bitch will remind you that life can always be good. You can always live, always laugh, always love. Even on the hardest of days, you can curl up…

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Pretty Little Cliffhangers.

***WARNING: SPOILERS***

I’m in a complicated relationship with Pretty Little Liars. Three years ago, my friend introduced me to this whirlwind of a show. I was instantly hooked. I binge-watched the first season on Netflix in three weeks. After Season 2, I was sure Mona was A. It was confirmed. Until some red coated person went to visit her in Radley. Umm…what? Since then, I’ve guessed it was every character on the show, even myself! This show is cray cray. If you haven’t watched it, I dare you to watch the first couple episodes and not go on a binge.

So last night, being the season finale, my hopes were high. That delusional thinking I’ve had before every finale previously was taking over. “They showed a black hooded figure reaching for their hood and Hanna had a gun on them. We’re totally finding out tonight!” Oh past self. So naive. I still don’t understand why Hanna didn’t shoot the bastard in the leg and end this thing! 

And here we are. I have a PLL hangover still thinking of all the possible theories. I’ve watched last night’s episode twice now and have come up with this. Wren is A and Cece and Melissa are his minions. Cece tried to kill Ali and Mrs. D. Her and Mrs. D shared a look as she passed. Now Mrs. D is covering for her because she is somehow related to the DiLaurentis family. Either she’s her other daughter that was disowned for some reason or another or Ali’s twin. Cece also killed Mrs. D to keep her from talking. My brain is spinning. Can’t write anymore.

What are your theories?

Ps. OMG EZRA NOOOOOOO!!!

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