Today, I had my earbuds in my ear, listening to my most recent playlist. A John Mayer song comes on. One that I’ve heard many a time but today was different. “I’ll have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong.” This line struck me. I’ve met some great guys in my life. I’ve also met some real jerks. However, each one has taught me a lesson in one way or another. So here’s my list of guys that I’ve either dated or had real feelings for beyond just thinking they’re cute. (Names have been changed for obvious reasons)
1. “Kindergarden Con”
Ahh the first crush. How wrong I was with this one! This guy taught me my first lesson in love, what a crush is. Feelings aren’t always reciprocated. People can also change over time. He went from the cute little boy in the class next door to a “rapper” that was arrested in a drug bust and various other things as the years went on.
This was my first case of falling for my guy best friend. I have nothing but nice things to say about this one. He’s always happy to see me when we run into each other. It’s ok to fall for your best friend. Sometimes they’re the best ones to fall for. As it turns out I wasn’t his type 😉
3. “Orange Plaid Boxers”
For the record, I came up with this codename in 8th grade! This guy will always be a bit of a crush. He’s one of the sweetest, smartest, most beautiful looking guys I’ve ever met. It all started in band camp (no, not like American Pie). He is a guy with ambition. A guy that all the girls want. And a guy I’ll probably never have. He set the bar high. He showed me what a real man looks like.
4. “Shoe In The Window”
Another bad boy with a pretty face. I don’t know what draws me to these idiots. This guy started to introduce me to the idea of bad boys not being so great as you think. Nice guy? Overall, yes. Should I marry him? Hell no.
5. “AHole #1”
You can tell by the title how I feel about this one. Long story short, he’s a shallow jerk. Just because a guy likes Taylor Swift, doesn’t mean you should like him. If you hear that he’s a womanizer, it’s probably true. On to the next one. ✌️
6. “The Duck Hunter”
This is a classic example of mistakes were made. This guy I could write many blog posts about. He taught me a lot of things. First is if a guy likes you, he’ll chase you. If you’re doing all the chasing, chances are he’s just not that into you. Second is don’t give up your dignity to try and change his mind. He will end up losing respect for you. Third is don’t think that just because he’s your only option at the time that he’s your only option forever. So not true. The fourth and final lesson is nothing good happens after 1am. I know HIMYM says 2am but this bro is living proof you should just go to bed. This drastically changed the dynamic of our friendship forever. It’s my one biggest regret. I have many more but I’ll keep it to four.
7. “The Gentleman”
This is possibly the sweetest guy ever and I didn’t deserve him. It was a case of he likes her more than she likes him. After a series of jerks, this was the first guy I dated that treated me right. A true gentleman. Right after we ended things, he met this girl at his school and they’ve been dating ever since and look really happy. They’re living proof that everything happens for a reason.
8. “AHole #2”
Another gem. I was hoping for a Jim and Pam type office relationship. This was far from it. If a guy bad mouths his ex on Facebook and has a bad relationship with his mom, just don’t waste your time. Chances are they have no respect for women and will only see you as a sexual conquest. Deuces bro. ✌️
Despite all the jerks I’ve encountered, I have met some really nice guys like this one. This could’ve become something but didn’t. It wouldn’t have lasted anyways. This guy introduced me to ehookah and work snapchats. Not a real lesson but I am appreciative.
10. “Close But No Cigar”
Last but certainly not least. Have you ever been so sure of something for so long to then realize it’s not what you thought it was? That’s what happened with this guy. Of all the guys on and off this list, he’s the closest I’ve come to what I’ve truly wanted. Like DH, I learned many lessons from this guy. More than DH. I could write a damn novel. Let’s stick to the most important ones. Laughter can be the best and most dangerous thing. When someone makes you laugh, there’s a little bond that forms. The more you laugh together, the better your bond (in my opinion). Something as simple as laughing and joking can give someone the wrong idea. That sounds stupid but it’s true. Unless the relationship is clearly defined, the lines can be blurred with this. And like Robin Thicke, I’m not a fan of those blurred lines. On the subject of blurred lines, if someone keeps you guessing their true feelings towards you, it’s probably not what you’re making it out to be. Overanalyzing is my worst enemy. With this guy, he always kept me guessing. One minute I thought, “Hey, he must really be into me. That totally meant something!” The next minute I would turn on a Taylor Swift song and give up. This guy indirectly drove my friends crazy because I would go back and forth. I wasn’t the only one he kept guessing. I’ve known a couple others that have said the same thing. This brings me to the most important lesson. Sometimes guys have no idea what they’re doing. To you, they’re flirting. To them, they’re talking to a friend that’s a girl. Guys are idiots. They probably won’t realize what was going on until much much later. We’re more emotionally mature than most of them. It’s not completely their fault.
That’s my list. The whole point of this post is to say thank you to these idiots. They have made me the woman I am today and have ultimately brought me closer to my yellow umbrella. So thank you gentlemen and a-holes.