Finding My Lobster.

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This New Year has brought many things: a new sense of empowerment, regrets and “Friends” on Netflix. I’ve always wanted to watch this show but never had all 10 seasons on DVD. I started my binge New Years Day and am still going strong. I just hit the half way point in season 2. I love the Ross & Rachel dynamic. I’m a big fan of the will they/won’t they relationships (as long as they aren’t in my own personal life). Ever since “The Office” ended, Stabler left SVU, Barney and Robin got divorced and Mindy and Danny got together, I’ve had this void I’ve needed to fill. Ross and Rachel have done that for me. When he questions whether or not its actually going to happen, Phoebe tells Ross that “She’s your lobster!” and goes on about how lobsters have one mate they stay with for life. This is something I’m on board with but not too long ago I wasn’t.

Waiting sucks. Everyday I go on social media and see someone else from high school got engaged. I try to be the good little Catholic girl and wait for my Mr. Right but sometimes I just want to throw that all away and got for Mr. Right Now. I’ve gone through a bit of a rough patch toward the end of the year. I pretty much gave up hope on finding my lobster. It wasn’t until I shared a very honest and very drunk conversation with one of my best friends. If my version of Ross were to walk through the door into my life right now, I wouldn’t want him to see it. There is so much crap all over the place, it’s embarrassing. He doesn’t deserve the task of helping me clean it all up. There’s not even room for him to walk! I realized I needed a change. I just needed a kick in the ass to get started.

Last week, me and that same friend I had a drunk convo with had plans for a shopping extravaganza. Unfortunately, a snow storm hit unexpectedly so we changed our plans to something more local. We ended up seeing “Wild” starring Reese Witherspoon. This movie was the kick I needed. No, I don’t have an urge to go on a ridiculously long hike but I do need to reevaluate my priorities, which is exactly what I did. After I got home from the theater, I sat in my room in the light of my 3 foot tall Christmas tree and prayed. I opened my bible for some Lectio Divina. I read a book that has all the feels. I wrote a letter to my future husband. I also made a list of everything I need to fix in my life. Some are instant cross offs, some are works in progress. Either way, the room that is my life is getting cleaned. Sometimes you find things you missed like old Backstreet Boys cds or old journals. Sometimes you find things you wish stayed gone like embarrassing pictures or exes. Sifting through it all does bring one thing, closure. I’ve decided that this is what 2015 is going to be for me, the year of closure.Too long I’ve sat idley by and wait for other people to make decisions for me or take charge. That me is gone. When December 31st, 2015 rolls around, I can jump into 2016 with no questions. I’ll have my answers and await the questions of the next year with much anticipation.

Yes, I’m a work in progress. With each thing I cross off the list, I get closer to finding my lobster. So here’s to 2015, the year I get my shit together!

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Twenty Three and Ireland.

So this is my twenty third post. I also just turned 23. I just wanted to point that out. These facts have nothing to do with this post.

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On Memorial Day, I was getting off a plane and walking in the city I call my home, Boston. After two weeks in Ireland, I’m finally home. This trip was one of the best experiences in my life. It was my first trip out of the country and my first time on an airplane. The plane went a lot smoother than I thought it would. Of course I had my Celtic rosary clutched in my hand while I listened to Beyoncé. The King and the Queen Bey helped me through. The flight went so smoothly, both there and back. The wine helped. I opted to not take dramamine. I wasn’t so nervous that I needed to be tranquilized. I didn’t start freaking out until we were taking off. Shortly after I calmed down. Once we arrived in Shannon, we drove over to Limerick. We had a brief bus tour to get our bearings then headed back to the hotel where everyone simultaneously crashed. A few hours later we went to Adare Village. I took so many pictures. Totally Catholic geeked out over a church there. For the first two days, any chance I got I was sleeping. The bus shortly became nap time after a few days. The second day we went to the Cliffs of Moher. Everything else we did that day is irrelevant in comparison. Pictures can’t begin to do it justice. If you ever get a chance to see them, do it. On the way to the Cliffs, we passed Galway Bay. More beauty. Seriously, Ireland is so beautiful it’s ridiculous. The next day we traveled to the Ring of Kerry. I had no clue what this was until we got there. It’s this ring of mountains. So gorgeous. I know I keep saying that but there’s no other words to describe Ireland other than beautiful and any synonym of it. The bus ride was long but it was worth it. During our journey around, we came across several animals. At our first stop, there was a donkey with the cutest puppies sitting on it. One was super chill and wearing a puffy jacket while the other was a new puppy (Jack Russell) that was being sold. Next to that stand was a goat! I tried to take a selfie with the goat but failed. A couple stops later we came across lambs and a fawn! We were so smitten. Everyone had their picture taken with a lamb. One of my life goals has been accomplished. If you want to get me a birthday present, get me a little lamb. I was dragging along the whole day. The night before we went out to some pubs. I actually found a cute Irish guy! He was super flirty and we were going to go to the next pub with them but their group left before we could find them. Lame. After another pub, a couple of us went back to the hotel bar. I’m so glad we did. It was bumpin. There was a random dance battle and an exotic surprise. Our last day in Limerick, we did some more bus touring and visited a little village called Sneem. We had some great ice cream and did some shopping. Nothing major. Then it was time to get on the rocky road to Dublin!

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When we first arrived in Dublin, we got the typical bus tour of the city. We all rested at the hotel then headed out to Temple Bar to grab some dinner. It was a long day of traveling so we called it an early night. The next day we visited the Botanic Gardens. So many pictures. If it wasn’t rainy, I would’ve stayed all day. I could totally see getting married there. Gorgeous. After the gardens, we went to Trinity College to see the Book of Kells. The fact that these books were together and in prime condition is amazing. I might’ve snuck a picture or two. (Shh!) Later on, we went to “An Ideal Husband” by Oscar Wilde. I’m not really one for British humor so I wasn’t that into it. After the show, I met up with Mikala. We went to a couple bars in Temple Bar, reminiscing about old high school crushes, classmates and memories. Overall, a solid night. The next day was our only free day on the trip. I took a cab over to one of the National Museums of Dublin. Nothing too interesting. I ran across the street to the Guinness factory. I’m not a huge fan of Guinness but this was fun. I learned a lot about the brewing process and had some good beer. After some shopping on O’Connell Street, I went back to the hotel to rest. Later that night, some us went to The Liquor Rooms which was hosting an open mic night for writers. I heard some beautiful, hilarious, sad poetry. Good drinks with good people. After the readings, we went to a couple different bars and called it a night.

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The next morning, we headed up to Northern Ireland (UK). On the way to Derry, we stopped in a little town by the sea called Larne. It was filled with cute little shops and beautiful views. Also took a lot of pictures here too. Several of the red phone booth! After Larne, we visited the Giant’s Causeway. I wasn’t initially excited about this when people were describing it to me. It was incredible. More pictures. Along the way we found an overlook with a field of sheep next to it. I proceeded to take dozens of pictures of the sheep. Adorbs. We headed back to the hotel for the night. Some people went out but Derry was super sketch. Me and my roomie stayed in and watched HP7P1. Some serious bonding happens when you witness Dobby die. Tears were shed. The next morning, we had a lovely tour of Derry’s city walls. Our tour guide Ronan was great! I learned so much.I’ve been inspired by the whole Londonderry/Derry conflict for my final creative writing piece. I’m gonna do a Romeo & Juliet piece but Protestants and Catholics in Derry/Londonderry. We headed out not long after the tour. We made a stop in Donegal. There was a castle in town. Took lots of pictures and selfies. We arrived in Sligo to this gorgeous hotel. The night was ours. It was raining and the center was so far. I ordered some pizza and watched Netflix.

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We left the hotel the next morning and visited a holy sight. I would’ve stopped and prayed but it was a little difficult with everyone walking around everywhere. After we went to this mountain that I was too lazy to climb along with 4 others. We stayed on the bus with our tour guide Damien while the others hiked. I’m not for that life. We traveled around for what seemed forever and we never left Sligo. I’m talking hours of driving and tours and still being in the same place. What the actual what? After more driving, we made it to Galway. We were all exhausted but we all wanted to get drunk because we hadn’t really got drunk so far during the whole trip. Every morning we’d have to be up at the crack of dawn to eat breakfast and get on the bus. So everyone napped for a couple hours. We then decided we’ve been spending too much on beer. 8 Euros for a pint? NOPE. We ran to a convenience store, got 4 bottles of cheap wine, picked up some take away and cranked a pregame playlist. All the girls got ready and headed out. I can honestly say that was one of the funnest nights. Everyone went out and everyone got drunk. We went to The King’s Head (seen on Three Sheets on Hulu). The band was awesome and so were the drinks! No one wanted to leave. It was always “One more song!” By about 1am, we headed back to the hotel. Some drunk snapchats were sent. Whoops! The next morning, we all boarded the bus in rough shape. There was a bottle of Ibuprofen being passed around. We did some more touring. I’m not even sure what we saw. We all talked a big game about going out for night two but everyone was exhausted. No one went out. It was the first night we didn’t have to do anything the next day until noon! I woke up and went to mass at 10am. I swear this priest was playing the game “How Fast Can We Get Through Mass?” 28 minutes. I felt a little gypped. The Eucharist is still the Eucharist.

At noon, we headed over to Limerick. Another long drive. The whole drive was a blur, a stressful surreal blur. I just wanted to come home at this point. We were all so tired and just done. By the time we got to Limerick, we laid low. The hotel was really nice. We had dinner as a group then just relaxed. Some people went to the hotel bar for a final drink but I was too broke and too tired. Me and Shannon watched some movies (per usual) and went to bed. I packed everything by some miracle and headed to Shannon Airport. We boarded the plane and headed back to Boston.

Now I’m home! It’s been a rollercoaster since I got back. One of the teens in the youth group I help run passed away suddenly on last Tuesday. That whole week was a mess of emotions. Once the weekend came along, I was so drained. I rallied with everything I had and went to the American Craft Beer Festival where I ran into an old teacher, a cousin and a couple old classmates. So much awkwardness but so much great beer. Totally made up for it. I was having a great night until I had a jealous bitch fit and rage quit everything. To be fair, it had been a long week and I was kind of drunk. After some T-Swift and a brief therapy session with the Bae, I came to my senses. This past week has been class night, graduation, my birthday and work. I haven’t had a moment to take a breath since I got home from Ireland. Tomorrow, my calendar is empty. It’s going to be glorious. Welp, that’s my life right now. More to come later!

PS. If you ever have the opportunity, go to Ireland. It’s so ridiculously beautiful. Everyone needs to go at least once. GO NOW.

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Waiting By The Backdoor

As a twenty something girl with many girl friends in my life, I get the occasional relationship questions. One of the teens on the youth group I work with is in a surprisingly familiar situation. She liked a guy. He was into someone else but wanted to still be close friends. She swears him off. She runs back to him. This was high school for me. Exact same situation. I swear this girl was me 9 years ago. (That’s weird to say.) It’s liking someone so much that even if you aren’t their first choice, you want to keep that option in play just in case you were meant to be with them. I’m laughing just thinking about my own life. You just stand at his back door hoping someday he’ll kick the other girl out and let you in. After a while it gets cold and rainy. You just become so jaded putting so many hopes and prayers and wishes into this one thing that probably won’t happen. You end up sick, freezing and just as alone as you were before. Ladies, stop waiting by the back door. You have so many better things you could be doing with your time! Have you met Netflix? Buzzfeed? Pinterest? Books? Well, they’re some of my best relationships yet. Far better than any idiot guy. You shouldn’t be freezing your ass off for a guy that won’t put you first. He should be knocking on your door before you leave the house. So get inside and watch some Netflix 🙂

 

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